Episode 14

Real Women Real Lives > The Exhausting Cycle of All-or-Nothing
The Exhausting Cycle of All-or-Nothing

With Barbara Patterson + Melissa Palazzo-Hart

All or nothing. That seems to be a practice many of us can relate to. But what is that mindset and approach costing us? Today, Barb and Melissa share their insights about their seemingly innate temptation to drive and strive. They share with us how they curb their workaholism, discovering even more productivity and fulfillment.

  • Barb shares that her natural propensity can be to work incessantly, as well as what motivated her to find another way. [00:01:10]
  • Barb discusses her learning curve around finding a balance between a revved-up and busy mind to one that allows the creative forces to keep her in the flow. And helps us see that churning activity out to take a day off makes no sense. [00:03:58]
  • Barb shares her incredulous experience in Paris, where she worked so hard that she couldn’t even enjoy her downtime in one of the most interesting cities in the world. [00:09:33]
  • Melissa recalls her all-or-nothing experience in college and her first job out of college. She also shares a great analogy about sprints and marathons to convey the pitfalls of striving. [00:10:40]
  • Melissa points out what most people equate success with and then challenges us to ask, “Is this true?” for business and life? [00:13:20]
  • Melissa uses a lemon metaphor that is super awesome and conveys how we have lofty goals for embracing all of life and life’s experiences. Yet, often we fail to reap the rewards because we are so intently focused on the doing. [00:14:17] 
  • Melissa helps us realize that all life is forward momentum, so what does that look like relative to our decisions about striving or “going back” to how things were? [00:15:00]
  • Barb points from client experience how we’ve normalized striving as the definition of success, and how that overrides our internal wisdom. [00:16:01]
  • Melissa talks about human sustainability in business. We have to shift things, and she focuses on some ways we can do that. [00:18:34] 
Do You Have Questions for Barb & Melissa?


Meet Your Hosts

Barbara Patterson is the owner of a global coaching and consulting company bringing the insights of performance and fulfillment to clients around the world. She helps organizations, leaders, entrepreneurs and coaches access more clarity, creativity, have greater impact and higher levels of performance in work and life. Barb is the Founder of Beyond Limits in Business and is hosting the BEYOND LIMITS BUSINESS SUMMIT in Edinburgh Scotland this May.

You can follow Barb on Linkedin, Twitter and Instagram. You can also subscribe to her weekly blog on her website at

Melissa Palazzo-Hart has 25 years’ experience leading marketing, strategy, finance, operations, and talent for some of the most prestigious agencies and brands including Disney, Activision and Omnicom. Throughout her career, she has built campaigns for some of the biggest names in entertainment and media which have been awarded Emmy Awards, Cannes Lion Awards, Effies, Telly Awards, Game Marketing Awards, Broadcast Design Association Gold Awards, and Clio Awards. Melissa is building a movement of paradigm shifters to unlock the potential of their minds to affect change in our world through seeing and living beyond perceived limits. She guides leaders and organizations at the highest levels how to make a meaningful impact through the power of heart work, instead of hard work.

You can follow Melissa on Linkedin and Instagram. You can also subscribe to her weekly blog on her website at


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I’m creating a movement of paradigm shifters who stop chasing enoughness, and live and work from a place of purpose and joy. As a coach, I guide leaders and organizations at the highest levels on how to make a meaningful impact and limitless success through the power of heart work, instead of hard work.

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